Hello Goodbye

leaving dallas was harder than anticipated. we really miss it. its hard to put in words. on one hand, we moved here b/c we felt like God called us to be at Vox and serve the people in the east austin neighborhoods, and i guess (in the youth group kinda way) we are supposed to be excited about it and gungho about it.

however, this does not feel "spiritual" at all....
monday - movers came and loaded all our stuff. we went down to austin. the movers did not, and told us they would bring the stuff on tuesday. it doesnt seem like a big deal until you realize that all of evan's stuff was on that truck. we slept at a hotel...check that...we tried to sleep at the hotel. he cried from about 6pm-1am...STRAIGHT. he has never done that before. i also realized that i didnt set up our cable/internet before we left and it wont be installed till tues....booooo!!!!!
tuesday - movers came and unloaded, but our apt was a wreck. diswasher does not work, toilet handle broke, tin found/killed a flea in the kitchen, vertical blinds did not close, and evan again had a terrible night. good thing tin's 2 sisters were there to help us out...thanks k and g :)
wednesday - k and g left, we are exhausted and basically spent all day putting stuff away...evan didnt have a great night, but it wasnt like monday.
thursday - exterminators were supposed to come but didnt, still putting stuff away, tin and i took turns holding evan for about 3 hours at a time during the night so that he would go to sleep.

none of this feels spiritual...in fact it feels the opposite of "spiritual". in addition to all this, i think i am feeling a bit homesick. part of me wants to just stay holed up here. recently i have been wanting to quell my exhausted/tired/homesick feelings with things. i want to buy a car to make myself feel better.

as we come to our senses, we know that true spirituality is in living unselfishly and loving others as we love ourselves. we tend to want to love ourselves more. if anything, this week has been a stringent exercise in being loving and kind despite not having what we are used to having in terms of sleep, living amenities, and situations going our way.

Little Monster

he is two kinds of monster...little monster and milk monster. he went to the doc the other day b/c he was throwing up half of what he eats, nevertheless, he is now at 12 lbs. 11 oz. some of his clothes are fitting like sausage casings.

there is a reason why we call this one little monster...

but then you get this...his first recorded smile, and it just does something to you.

We're Tired...Nothing To Say

i will just leave you with this...

lion...

and the lamb

Leaps And Bounds

evan got his immunization shots the other day. he had to get 4 shots, 2 at a time. he cried...actually he waled...but as soon as the needles were taken out, he stopped crying. my little tough guy.

so evan came into this world at 6 lbs 3 oz which is in the 10th percentile and 18.5 inches...which is also in the 10th percentile. now he is 23.5 inches which is in the 65th percentile and 11.4 lbs which is in the 75th percentile. so he is still averaging about a pound a week. our little porker...

i can assure you...the following image is not photoshopped...

Keepin Your Head Up

so evan is about 24 inches now and weighs about 11-12 lbs. he has the michelin man rolls...little fatty. however, he is not unathletic. he is able to keep his head up in a controlled manner for extended periods of time. he has a doc appointment on monday. k thinks he is closer to 11 lbs...i think he is closer to 12. we shall see.

Playing it safe isn't really that safe

i was reading this article on a guy that was a civil engineer that gave up his job so he could walk across america. he's not doing it for a cause or to draw attention to the health benefits of walking.

No, for Green, there's just something about the act of walking that makes him really happy, much more content than he ever would have been in his office cubicle in Manhattan, where he used to daydream about doing something epic like this.

On the road, there's a simple purpose to each day, he says. There is camaraderie with the people he meets along the way. There is excitement in discovering what's around the next bend.

and it was the next line that really hit me..."Playing it safe isn't really that safe," he has concluded. "If you do that, you miss out on a lot of the great things life has to offer."

this really hit us yesterday as the day of our move to austin looms on the horizon. i know we dog on dallas sometimes, but over the last couple of years especially, we have grown to love and value the friends we have here. it used to be that the grass is greener in austin, but now we feel like the grass is greener here and now that we have discovered that...we are leaving.

we have family here. invariably, every friday we dont feel like cooking, so we would go over to k's parents house on fridays for dinner and hang out with the family. my dad is here also, and we wont be able to hang out with him and have bahn mi sandwiches with him at lee's anymore.

our friends here are great too. its great when you have friends that feel comfortable enough to just come over unannounced. its the people that you can just let your guard down with and not have to worry about what comes out of your mouth b/c they just understand. all this is the result of years of hanging out, talking, sharing, and giving of yourself to people.

now we feel like we are called to go to austin, but it also feels like we are giving up the civil engineering job to go walking. it is not that we arent clear on what our objective is by going there, and it is not that we are unfamiliar with austin. i guess we feel like we are starting all over again.

Wailing Wall

evan has been much more erratic in his behavior lately. he used to sleep all the time, and we would have to wake him up to feed. sometimes he wouldnt even wake up when we changed his diaper.

these days, he is always up. he refuses to go to sleep during the day. its sometimes really confusing as a parent what he needs. sometimes when he is crying and inconsolable, we just want to get into his mind and know exactly what he wants/needs. we run through the mental checklist...

-changed diaper
-hungry?
-needs to be burped?

diaper dirty/wet...no just changed him, hungry...no just fed him, needs to be burped...no did that too. at that point all we can do is hold him and tell tell him things are going to be okay.

it occurred to me the other day. i used to think of God's omniscience as a scary thing like he is going to catch me doing something and make me pay for it. now, more than ever, God's omniscience is so that we know that He knows exactly what we want/need. even when we dont know what we want or need. it is so reassuring that there is a benevolent God that knows everything so He can provide exactly what is needed at any given time.