don't touch this...

i have an issue touching people and i guess people touching me
actually i didn't used to... i think i'll blame it on (first) teaching.  i've gotten sick so many times by not minding the germs coming my way via a child's hand, a hug from that child's dirty hand (probably been in their nose or mouth or worse the bathroom), pencils touched by that dirty hand, etc. and (two) on the swine flu (i literally walked around with an alcohol gel in my classroom for weeks... well, i was pregnant so definitely didn't want to get sick)

but since these happened i've never been so aware of germs... they are everywhere!!! so if i am fully on watch i try not to touch people or if i do i feel the need to wash my hands... don't be offended it's not you, it's me REALLY

* but if you still wanna touch me or give me a hug, go ahead i'm working on not being so obsessive about this... and if i give you a hug know i am trying really hard :-)

anyway, i speak of this issue because evan is kind of the same way except he's like it from birth (scary!)
he doesn't like it when other people he doesn't know or like touch him... he doesn't even like it when we touch him in ways he doesn't want to be touched... like, his nose... he HATES it when we touch his nose or try to wipe off his boogers (which he has a lot of these days)

*sigh* what have we done to him... my little ocd booger

some kind of kid...

lots to post but between feeding, entertaining, pumping, and putting evan to sleep most of what free time i have is spent catching up with paul who has been out of commission for a week now... can i just say that evan is a two-person job and i'm exhausted

but our little one is growing up so fast... sometimes i don't notice until someone else holds him or i see a picture of him, which reminds me of seeing a picture of him last week taken when he was probably only a couple months old and i didn't recognize him! (yikes! what's wrong with me?) in my defense, he's always looked like paul to me and in the picture he looked like a caucasian baby!? either that or the picture of him seared onto my brain of his first few months is of him wailing... he cried A LOT

hmm... anyway, the point of this post is to give an update on us... well, probably evan mostly... he's the one with changing every day... we are just in for the ride...

• evan is now eating solids... YAY! i've been waiting for this since his birth... but he can now eat cereal, bananas, avocado, sweet potato, prunes (yeah, not too much of this), and he hates pears... this week he'll have carrots and squash... so exciting! except for the fact that sometimes these foods give him bad gas or tummy aches at night or diarrhea (thanks prunes)
• obsessions:  paul = his new laptop ... me = coconut green tea, brownies, ice cream, processed sugar, ebay ... evan = his toes, jumperoo, flipping (even on his changing pad), trying to sit up, making new sounds (with consonants), old mcdonald (the song), his penis
• sleep:  paul = all night  me = 5 hrs and here and there unless evan stirs  evan = mostly all night except around 4am when i try to feed him... yes, he sleeps with me and i love it (don't judge)
• new tricks:  paul = nothing me = eating all sorts of horrible things and still fitting my skinny jeans evan = jumping on his jumperoo and manipulating things with his fingers (toys, balls, teethers, books)
• aspirations:  paul = business deals, baylor football domination  me = cooking mushroom lasagna and all sorts of other things, drinking caffeine evan = putting his hands in his diaper when i am trying to change him, grabbing stuff off of the table, getting out of his bumbo 

and here's some fun pics we took during evan's first football game

and then we got bored because he wouldn't give us a good smile...

vicious cycle

i love caffeinated drinks... coffee (yum summermoon...), tea (oh sweet leaf i love you), vietnamese coffee, milk tea, sweet tea, coke (OH MAN!)...

so we had people over for dinner last week and they brought drinks and they were all caffeinated (thank God) ... you see i should be banned (am banned according to paul) from caffeine because it makes evan a little more kooky and hyper than usual and goodness knows that child should not be given more ammunition to not sleep... but you know he isn't sleeping well... last night we counted 6 times of nightwaking and that involves me sleeping with him after the 5th time and he woke up before 7 am so needless to say i  REALLY REALLY want some pick me up during the day

which brings me to my dilemma... the caffeinated drink left overs from last week's dinner are tempting me in the fridge every day...i broke down and opened the sweet leaf tea and i take little sips here and there when paul isn't looking though i'm sure he knows i've been cheating since there is less and less volume every day...

what can i say... i need something to make me feel better...

and here's a few pics of the little monster lately (because that's what you come here to see right? =P )
he looks so much like paul in these pics (and kind of like the e*trade baby)

our sweet boy

my term of endearment for evan (dont steal it)  ....even though he doesn't act that way at times he really is sweet and fun (did you know he gives hugs and kisses now? though the hugs end up being hair pulling and kisses feel like slobberfest)

he really is giving us some crazy times these days when it comes to his sleep... did we create this monster? or is he just holding out on us? but the kid will not sleep for long periods of time at night... his most recent project is taking these 30 min cat naps...

i thought i had a strong will but this kid (having a mutant combo of his parents' strong wills) has broken us down and we caved to sleeping with him again last night... i know... consistency consistency but when you havent slept for days you throw everything out the window and just survive... don't judge

and he's had 2 cat naps today so in an effort to give cranky tired boy sleep...i put him on the ergo to sleep... and since marc weissbluth said motionless sleep is best i perched myself on the couch and we've been motionless for an hour... or so

i swear he is driving us bonkers!

but look at that cute fall outfit... i LOVE putting these cool weather clothes on him... have you seen him in jeans? khakis?  cutest butt ever!

slowly...

p and i have never been good at dealing with change... wait i take that back, i used to welcome change to the point of having 12 addresses in 9 years and loved every move and every apt/house ... and of course that fear of settling down... i think p and i were champions at not being attached...

i don't know what happened but we've been craving constancy and permanence for a while now and can't seem to find it... in the past few months alone we've gone through a bunch of changes ... moving... new church... new people to be had as friends... new baby which in itself presents something new every few days or so (have you smelled his bowel movements lately.. UGH... love that new solid food diet)

i'm beginning to think that the things we look for come in slower increments as we get older... we moved to austin for some permanence and i think it's just going to take a while... maybe so we can take the time to enjoy the process... to find contentment in every stage and take pleasure in little things

so i'm gonna sit back and enjoy this ... having a morning to myself to listen to my indie music while p and e take their morning nap



wth!??!?! not enjoying ... the construction that just erupted in front of our apt -_-

me vs e

don't let that innocent face fool you...
sometimes i swear evan refuses to do things just because he senses that we really want him to do it... and then he teases you to give you a glimmer of hope that things are finally going our way and then he turns it around and sweeps the rug from under you and points and laughs at your face... no he doesn't really do that but it feels like that sometimes

exhibit 1:

for the past 3 weeks evan has been so temperamental like a preggo on a hormonal rage...

laughing... (oh wow he's so happy)

crying... (oh woah what happened? is he hurting?)

cooing... (oh okay maybe he was just uncomfortable)

whining ... (what? he was just content a minute ago?)

talking... (???)

laughing and crying at the same time (...i give up)

all in one play session... who does that!?

exhibit 2:

evan has also been refusing to eat when he is hungry... we know he is hungry because he is rooting and eating his burp cloth but he does this

sucking ... (yes!)

pulls away... looking around (hmm...)

sucking... (oh okay)

pulls away... (?)

dives for his milk source and misses it... (oh he needs help)

i help him ...pushes me away ... (?)

wants to suck... cries... i give him the bottle... sucks (praise God)

next week... he does the same thing except this time he doesn't want the bottle anymore

i think his dr.'s office is fed up with me because i keep calling about his eating habits... is he teething? is he sick? is he just being a difficult 4 month old? who knows? but we love him... so we pin him down and force feed until he takes it which he does eventually and acts like he hasn't eaten in days

exhibit 3:

we've been teaching evan to soothe himself to sleep for the past 2 weeks... he cried for 3 straight hours the first night to our horror... then 2 hours... then 1.5... 1... 30 min... then he cried for 15 min and slept for most of the night... WOOHOO!!! success! NOT! then next night he cries for 2 hours like he has never done this soothing thing before and from then on every night is an adventure... will he cry tonight? will he sleep? who knows?

so there's an imaginary scoreboard in our heads... mom versus evan... today i'm winning 2-0

inventory

it's been a while since we've updated so here's a new post with pictures just for you (ehcaithemmmm)...

it's kind of weird how a kid turns your world upside down in many ways... just look at this comparison from last year

last year/this year

working 12 hr days/working 24/7

sleeping/not sleeping
you eat food/you are food (me not paul)

you enjoy food/you enjoy just being able to get a bite of that food
shower every day/shower? do i really need that?
"let's be spontaneous"/"let's be spontaneous... oh wait i need to plan for EVERYTHING that needs to/could/should/might happen for this lil one

yes...having a kid is inconvenient and not so fun at times... but here's some of the little things we enjoy about evan

1. he teaches us to be thankful for the little things (when was the last time we laughed at a gummy smile...oh yes 2 hours ago...)

2. he shows us how to love (even if we let him cry at night he always wakes up excited to see us...yes even at 3 in the morning)

3. he loves animals

4. he smiles at everything

5. he loves to be healthy... seasonal produce anyone?

6. he is so expressive

7. he farts like an old man
8. he doesn't really care much about a lot of things... life is simple

9. he misses you

10. he is just so curious and observant... makes you wonder what he thinks when he stares you down